Responding to "tornadoes" {when problems touch down in our life}

I feel like I am reliving the same emotions and heartache from 2 years ago.  I remember well when the bad tornadoes hit Arkansas, and even people who I had come to "know" online were severely affected.

I knew these storms were coming, as I have online friends in OK. They had been preparing for the storms - getting in supplies, making sure torches (flashlights) were working, and making sure they had somewhere to take shelter.

 But, to waken up this morning and hear about, and see, the devastation, is just awful.  A school  - children the same age as our Daniel - destroyed, and many lives lost. Homes torn apart, belongings strewn far and wide.  Cars turned upside-down.  Trees stripped of all their greenery. It is simply awful.

I sit here, in the UK, so very thankful that our weather is so temperate, relative to so many other parts of the world - no strange excesses of heat or cold, wind or hail.  I know we complain about too much rain, or not enough sun.  What is that compared to the awful consequences of living somewhere where the effects of tornadoes are felt?

I feel quite "safe".

Far removed from the horrors of "Tornado Alley".

But, as I sat here thinking about it, not living in an area affected by adverse weather does NOT remove me from the path of other "storms".  "Storms" can come in many forms, and affect our lives in many ways, equally as "destructive".

Family struggles - rebellious children, rocky marriages, rifts with relatives
.
Personal struggles - emotional hardships, battling with sin, parenting trials, feelings of loneliness, fear or despair.

Financial failures.

Poor health.

Death of loved ones.

The list is endless - the "storms" each of us face, as individual as the person facing it.   The effects equally as devastating as the loss of property faced by many Americans this morning.  A life lost by a storm is no less devastating than a life lost before birth, or through an accident or illness, anywhere else in the world. Any of these things can happen to any of us, at any time - without even a warning that they get before a tornado.

How we respond to these storms should be the same, no matter the nature of it.  Literal, or figurative.

The Bible tells us about storms.  Our minds would quickly jump to the disciples in that little ship, on a stormy sea.

The fear.

The anguish.

The feeling that they would perish.

The doubt.  "Master, carest thou not that we perish?".

But, our minds then jump to the resolution.  A caring, wonderful Friend, who stilled the storms, and stilled the hearts of those He cared so much about.

The winds and waves rebuked.  The storm calmed.

The faithless hearts of the disciples rebuked.  Their hearts challenged.

We need faith in the storm.  Faith to remember that God is STILL in control, even when the storm is raging.  Peace in the storm - remembering that God has us in his hands, and we ARE safe.

When the literal storms are coming, people are urged to take shelter.  Somewhere they are protected from the winds that will sweep across the landscape.  Many are blessed with basements - hidden in the heart of the earth, whilst the tornado rips over the top.  Safe in the hollowed out earth.

Amidst the storms that we face, we have a shelter.

"Thou hast been a shelter for me"

Psalm 61:3

We have a refuge from storms and trials.

"a refuge in time of trouble"

Psalm 9:9

We have a place we can go and hide, when troubles surround us.

"Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance."

Psalm 32:7

I read a great little saying, in a novel about the Amish.  I don't know where it comes from, but the wisdom is plain.

Courage is fear on its knees.

We can take courage when we are fearful, by going down on our knees in prayer, and completely relying and fully trusting in God and His perfect ways.  On our knees, we are right in that secret place - closed in with the Saviour, with our Heavenly Father.

In Colossians 3 verse 3 we are reminded that "we are dead".  Dead to things of this earth. That our affection should be set on things above, not on things of this earth.  If we are dead to these things, then

"your life is hid with Christ in God."

Our whole life is hidden, safely, with Christ, IN GOD!  What safer place could we possibly be?

No matter how the storms are raging around us - what losses we experience - what trials, temptations and torments - we are hidden, safely, with Christ, in God.

Do you have your own, personal tornado looming on the horizon?  Maybe, it's already hit, and you are "pushing up the hatch door" to survey the damage? Maybe you are trying to clear up the mess it has left behind?

No matter your circumstances, you can hide in Christ.  You take refuge in the one who holds all things in HIS hand.  The one who calmed the storm for the disciples, and breathed hope and peace into their hearts, will do the very same thing for you and I.

1 Rejoice, believer, in the Lord,

who makes your cause his own;

the hope that's built upon his work

shall ne'er be overthrown.

2 Though many foes beset your road,

and feeble is your arm,

your life is hid with Christ in God

beyond the reach of harm.

3 Weak as you are, you shall not faint

or fainting, shall not die,

Jesus, the strength of ev'ry saint,

will aid you from on high.

4 Thou unperceived by mortal sense,

faith sees him always near,

a guide, a glory, a defense;

then what have you to fear?

5 As surely as he overcame

and triumphed once for you,

so surely you that love his name

shall in him triumph too.

John Newton

When resting is not easy {a pregnancy update}

Well, I thought you needed to hear an update. So, here goes.

Last week, I started bleeding again.  Nothing like the first time, but every morning, more than "spotting", and every day since.  My MW was on holiday (vacation) last week, so I waited until she came back, before investigating the whys and wherefores.

I spoke to her on Tuesday morning, and I quickly got an appointment to go to the Early Pregnancy Unit on Wednesday afternoon.

Off I trotted, hoping for some answers.

The asked me about what had been happening, acknowledged my bleeding was more than just a little (I came armed with a picture on my phone....the things women do!!), and said they would scan me.

Once again, our little bay was active and heart beating as it should be. The doctor looked for any "abnormalities", but couldn't see anything.  They realised there SHOULD be something, based on my symptoms, so they called in the sonographer. GOOD move. She very quickly identified that the membranes were not attached at the bottom of the uterus, right above the cervix, and there was blood sitting behind them.  Hence, my bleeding.

She explained that they sometimes do not attach until around 16-18 weeks.  I am only just about 16 weeks, so it is possible that they will still attach. The sonographer wants me in next week to monitor it, and make sure it's doing what it should.

It explains the bleeding, and confirmed to me that I had been doing the right thing to rest.  I have discovered that if I do anything more than rest and stand up a little, the bleeding gets worse.  So, needless to say, more resting is what I am doing.

Interestingly, it's not a common problem.  My MW had never even had anyone with the same thing!! I told her the words I had found that were getting me answers on google - an unfused amnion. The thing is, googling is not always a good idea.  I read all the possible outcomes, and that may not be a good idea!


The thing is, not matter what God still has in store for me, and this precious babe, it is ALL IN HIS PLAN.  I am resting in that completely, and despite some of the bad "stories" I read - ranging from chromosomal disorders to premature labour - there were "good stories" too.

With God, we have no "bad" stories.  Why not?  Simply because GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!!  How can I say that His perfect will is anything but good??  If He, my perfect, almighty, sovereign, Heavenly Father, has ordained this to be my path - whatever the outcome - it IS good.

I can honestly say He is meeting my needs.

I can also honestly say, that this is HARD.  Resting....HARD.

When one is used to being in control of the wonderful dominion that God has given me charge of, and then I suddenly have to SIT, and delegate and adapt, it's HARD!!!

Telling children to do something for you, i have discovered, takes WAY longer than if you do it yourself...

Telling a child to pass on a message to a sibling, seems not to carry the clout as me delivering it myself. ..

Sitting and thinking through what must be done, and what can be left, is not as easy as it sounds.  It's hard to leave things undone.

Mess can wait.

It's a lesson I am fast learning.

There is also great merit in resting.  Time to think and pray more for others.  Time to plan school.  Time to sit and read with the children, in order for them to learn, rather than them working alone.  Time to teach them more about character, and love, and kindness, and diligence, and tidiness.

Lessons are being learnt all around, and IN me. Acceptance.  Trust.  Faith.  HOPE.

Absolute sway {giving everything up to God)

I've had another challenging week.

I had been resting last week, after the bleed, as per Robert's instructions.  He would call me every now and again, and ask if I had my feet up.

That was a struggle, when I am used to a busy life.

Then, this week I attempted a little more.  Everything had been settled for more than a week, so i went shopping on Monday.  Then, on Tuesday we went to the garden centre, and then I did a little planting - only very easy planting, and I left the harder stuff to the boys.

Then, on Wednesday morning the bleeding was back.  NOTHING like before, but just present, and obvious, all day.  And yesterday.  I thought it had eased by the end of yesterday, and this morning... back again.

I still don't know what is happening, or why.

I hate not knowing.  I hate not being able to control what's going on.

I had a heart to heart with Robert this morning.   We talked about how I need to trust God.  I *DO* trust God.  I told him, I trust God completely - I know that whatever the outcome for this baby, it will be perfect, and in His plan.

Then, why was I still struggling?  Why did I get so upset?  Why was I finding this so hard?

I know that us women folk deal with things differently.  We are created differently from men.  That's normal.

From the ladies I have talked to, I know I am not alone.

But, I realised Robert was right.

If I still cannot leave the "not knowing" to the Lord, then I am still not trusting Him completely.   In order to fully trust, then I cannot hold onto any desire to be in control myself.

Yes, I still would like to know what is happening.

Do I need to be anxious about not knowing, though?  Let it bother me?  Have it on my mind so much?

No.

I don't.

I need to take it to the Lord and LEAVE IT THERE.

I KNOW that whatever it is that is causing this, cannot be treated or changed.  About the only thing they could tell me, is to rest.  I am doing that already.

I also know that we could learn that the baby has already passed away, and we are simply waiting for  a miscarriage.  My hope still tells me that is not the case.  However, if it was, I still couldn't change anything by knowing sooner.

My midwife is on holiday this week.  She will know what's happening next week.  I am pretty sure she will get in touch, and if not, I see her routinely on Thursday.

In the mean time, I need to FULLY TRUST.  For the sake of my peace of mind, I need to not analyse every change.  Monitor and mull over it.

Instead, I need to make the best of every moment I am resting.  Put it to good use.  Plan.  Prioritise.  Read to my children.  Write my recipes in my new binder.  Read.  PRAY.

God is giving me this season for a purpose.

"All things work together for good"

"but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

"the steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. 

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand."

Psalm 37:24  

That last verse really has spoken to me.  My steps - all that I go through - has been ORDERED by God.  He has allowed it - set it out before me.  It's HIS plan,  His PERFECT plan, that has me going through this trial. How have I to walk in these steps?  I have to DELIGHT in them.

I can tell you now, that this morning I fell.  Big time.  I was an emotional wreck, and once the tears start in a hormonal woman, it's hard to turn that tap off.  I was exhausted  and struggling to accept that I have no idea what's going on.

But GOD DOES.

And, He upholds me with His hand. I am NOT utterly cast down, because God always has me right in His hands.  I need to just rest in that place of safety and comfort.

Knowing what's happening will only make me "feel better" humanly.  I need to feel well SPIRITUALLY, and the only way I can do that, is to surrender this WHOLE thing to the Lord.  The what, when AND why.

He has this.  I don't need to have ownership or control of any of it.  I need to content in the knowledge that God knew this would happen, and I WILL get through it.  Clinging to Him.  Moment by moment.  Not needing to know what may, or may not happen, beyond today. Enjoy the knowledge that, as far as I know, a little babe continues to grow inside of me, "fearfully and wonderfully made".  To appreciate the rest that God has gifted me with.  To be thankful for the wonderfully helpful, and kind, and loving husband and children. That I don't have to worry about school runs! *giggles*   There is so much still to be thankful for, even in the midst of my own personal trials.

Even in all of this, I can remember there are those struggling and hurting WAY more than me.

This hymn came to my mind today.  I need the Lord to have HIS own way, and I need to give myself over to him, so that He only has absolute sway over everything.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!

Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.

Mold me and make me after Thy will,

While I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!

Search me and try me, Master, today!

Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now,

As in Thy presence humbly I bow.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!

Wounded and weary, help me, I pray!

Power, all power, surely is Thine!

Touch me and heal me, Savior divine.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!

Hold o’er my being absolute sway!

Fill with Thy Spirit ’till all shall see

Christ only, always, living in me.

I am learning.  I am not always a fast learner, and this one is both a steep curve and a hard lesson.  But, by God's grace, I am learning.

A quick chat on a sunny porch

Well, I know it's Friday, and everyone else has been chatting for days.  Better late than never, right?  

So, it's a sunshiny chat again, here.  I do love the sunshine.  It makes me happy. 

1. When it's time to cut the grass (mow the lawn), who does it?

Invariably it is Robert.  It's just one of "his" things to do.  I have never done it in the new house at all.  I LOVE the smell of newly cut grass.  It's one of those "remember the days when I was young and had no cares in the world but to have fun in the summer" kind of throw backs.  It just smells yummy.  Not that I want to eat it, obviously.  My healthy eating hasn't gone THAT far.

Oh, and I'm loving that you have put in the British phrase, too.  See, multi-lingual you are, Patrice! 

   2.    If someone gave you $500 dollars and you could not spend it on yourself, who would you spend it on?

Well now, you didn't really need to add the "not spend on yourself" part, as I don't do that very often.  At the moment, I need to get the children new summer shoes - the weather is now warming up enough to cast off the winter boots and don the summery footwear.  6 children in shoes = an expensive trip.  You're talking over £100 just on that.  Then there's the new summer clothes for the older ones, and usually t-shirts need to be replaced, too.  The older ones (especially the boys) seem incapable of managing to pass much on these days - everything gets worn right up.  And let's not talk about trying to get the girls skirts that are decent. *rolls eyes*  So, shoes and clothes for the children.  

Beyond that initial thought, I guess I would give it to someone who had a need.   Someone who was struggling financially and needed some help.  Someone with an unexpected bill and not sure where they are going to get the money to pay for it.  A missionary or a missionary society.  

It's almost too broad a question!   I could get sidetracked in the world of upcoming birthday's or taking friends out to dinner.  But, that would be spending it on myself, because I would want to be with them for dinner! 

Oh, and I would love $500 - but from what I just described to you I would not have much left over - it's only the equivalent of about £322!   Now, what YOU all could do with £500?!  

3.   Have you ever taken a blogging break or considered one?

I have a bit of a "break" in early and late pregnancy, and after I have a baby.  So, since starting the blog, nearly 2 years ago, I have had a few kind of "breaks".  I think because the blog is an extension of my spiritual life, and something I see as a ministry, I wouldn't take a formal break unless it was affecting my personal life. So, I have never considered it, officially, but would if it was needed.  I would miss it. 

4.    Are you bothered by spring allergies or hay fever? If not spring, any other time of the year?

Thankfully, no.   Although, interestingly, I have had 2 terrible sneezing fits in the last couple of weeks.  My Mum has terrible sneezing fits, and it was discovered she has an allergy to oranges.  Guess when she always had the sneezing fits.  Yup, after her toast and MARMALADE every morning!  It doesn't make her ill, just makes her sneeze.  I haven't worked out if my sneezing fits were attached to some exposure of some sort.  If it happens again, I'll take note and follow it better.   

I'm so glad I am not bothered by hay fever or the like - I know it can be torturous. 

5.   What's new with you?

Well, I think I had that covered in my last few posts since last Thursday!   New baby on the way, and all the roller coaster that is bringing.

I think I MAY be feeling somewhat better.  The nausea is definitely not so bad, and some of my daytime energy is returning.  Don't ask me to do much in the evenings.  They are still my tough time, with tiredness and nausea still featuring quite heavily.  At least it's not all day any more, which is a blessing. 

What ELSE is new, is that we have had sunny skies for THREE days in a row!!!!! Yes, THREE!  And finally, the children are well enough to go out and enjoy it! YAY! I think we are due for some cloud over the weekend, but the temperatures are to stay up nearer to the high teens (that's celsius, folks....), which is still a vast improvement.  I don't mind the winter, really.  But, I LOVE the spring.  Sunny skies, breeze blowing, warm air - it all equals happiness and a lighter feeling inside.  

So, there we have it.    A quick chat on a Friday afternoon. Its always nice to chat, Patrice, and if you take a blogging break I will miss it.  Which one of the linked-up ladies would carry it on!?? 

Rejoicing in hope, patient in affliction {learning through trial}

I have some quiet moments.  I don't know how long THAT will last.  So, I wanted to share with you my experience from last weekend.

I think I can safely say that at the same time it was both one of my biggest trials and my biggest blessings, all wrapped up in one experience.

It's something that is going to instantly relate to many of you. You see, last Friday I thought I was about to miscarry.  I had a heavy bleed, late in the afternoon.  When I realised what was happening my heart sank, and the tears flowed.  An overwhelming sadness filled my heart, when I thought that my little, growing baby could have died.  Sobbing, I phoned Robert and asked him to come home.  I phoned family and asked them to pray. I let my closest friends know, so they could lift me to God's throne in prayer, as well.

I had to go into hospital, as the bleeding was quite bad.  I was examined, but assured that I was not labouring, and it was a "threatened miscarriage".  In other words - "we don't know what's happening, or what will happen".  There was nobody available to scan (I suppose it's not really a very big hospital, and it was a Friday evening), so we had no visual reassurance whether all was well or not.

I can honestly say that after my initial cry, I did not cry again.  I felt an overwhelming sense of God's people praying, and of God's peace and presence.  I *KNEW* that God had this situation right in His hands.  How can I trust God to give me children, and not trust Him after conception?  I didn't feel anxious... I think there were several people feeling that way vicariously, though! If I knew in the GOOD times that I was to trust and not be afraid - to be careful for nothing - to rest quietly in Him - how much MORE did I need to NOW?!

I rested over the weekend, but do you know what my biggest struggle was?  Waiting.  Being patient.  I had not had that scan, and we had no idea if we were just waiting for me to miscarry, or if the baby was, in fact, ok.  I had to WAIT, as I had no choice.

We mother's tell our children to "wait" a lot.  They want to do things, to know things, to have answers to things, for us to do things FOR them, NOW! It's a struggle for them to wait 60 seconds, never mind any longer.  Yet, despite us constantly telling our children to "wait", are we any better at it ourselves? I would suggest not! Certainly, I am not very good at it.

God tells us, in the Psalm I shared with you a couple of months ago,

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him:"

Psalm 37:7

I was managing the "resting" part, which was not easy, I may add.  The "waiting" part was proving difficult, as was the "patiently".  It seemed like an absolute age to wait from Friday night until Monday morning, for the scan.  To have evidence of what was happening, or not.  It seemed even longer, because I was having to wait.  I wasn't busy, doing my normal weekend jobs.  No ironing (which I am still trying to forget is sitting there....), no preparation for Sunday, no cleaning.  Just sitting.  With my feet up.  Thinking how long it was until Monday.

Do you know what I discovered, though?

Resting, and waiting, means you have more time to think, and speak to the Lord.  The clamour is forgotten, and the peace facilitates time to commune.  Even though the children were unwell, and the DVD player was in high use, I could still think on the things of the Lord, and come to Him in prayer.  A lot of other people were prayer for, and I could pray for the baby, too.

I still did not see to have the same assurance about the OUTCOME that Robert had, though.  He was SURE everything would be fine, and that I didn't need the scan.  I think many men are like that.  You know, the "''Al right" guys - not me and my "Justin case".   It may simply be that the Lord had given him the reassurance, but I wasn't getting it.  I KNEW that I would be at peace whatever the outcome, but I wasn't assured the outcome would be a perfect baby.

Monday morning came,  and I had the first morning for a while where I had no noisy children, and had the chance to read my Bible in peace.  I read first in Genesis, where my Monday mornings bring me just now.  I read about Jacob wrestling with God - a picture of us coming to God in prayer.  The blessing did not come instantly.  Jacob wrestled until he demanded a blessing.  I wasn't aware of the parallel at that point, but I continued on to read in the Psalms.  I was a bit behind on my Psalm reading, so read Psalm 11- 16.
I came nearly to then end, and then read these verses.

"I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. 

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope."

Psalm 16:8&9

I had set the Lord before me all weekend.  I was not moved - my spirit had been calm.  My heart was glad, resting in Him.  But, that last part had just not been real to me - until that moment.  I  had been wrestling with "hope", and now God was blessing me.

I realised.  We are to have HOPE.  God tells us to HOPE in Him.

Verses came flooding into my mind about hope.

"Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD."

Psalm 31:24

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God:"

Psalm 42:11

 "Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the LORD his God:"

Psalm 146:5

 "It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD."

Lamentations 3:26

"hope maketh not ashamed;"

Romans 5:5

This last one was the one that kept going over and over in my mind.  I wasn't quite sure about how hoping could prevent me from shame, but I knew I was to hope - and I really felt it.  A quiet hope, that everything was ok.

When I was lying in bed a little later, before I got dressed, I was sure I felt a little kick.  I thought it to be impossible to feel it that early - only 13 weeks - but yet, it felt just like those early kicks.  Was it God showing me that the baby was ok?  Maybe, maybe not, but it certainly added to my hope - to my peace.

We got in the car, to go to the scan, and the CD player came on.  The title of the song came flashing onto the CS screen "hope"!!!!  I couldn't quite believe it!  I was pretty sure that God was giving me a message - I was to have HOPE!  Robert got a text from a friend "I hope you and yours are ok".

More hope.

Hope - based on God's ability to do all things well.

Like the Shunamite woman "It is well".

Hope maketh not ashamed?   That meant, that no matter what happened, I had hope - hope that I SHOULD have - and that I would not feel shame that I had not hoped at all.  Better to hope and for the outcome to not be the one I would choose, than to NOT have hope and everything be OK,  and to be ashamed for not putting my hope in God.

We went to the hospital, and inevitably there was a wait.  We were 15 minutes early, plus an extra 30 minutes of waiting after out appointment time.  Those minutes DRAGGED.

We were brought into the room, asked a few questions, and asked to lie down.  Unlike the other scans I have had, they turned the screen well away from my view.  Not even a glimpse for me, and Robert kept behind a curtain so he could not see either.  That further wait, whilst they searched for signs of life.

And then, those words.

"The baby is absolutely fine, look"

The screen was turned, and tears filled my eyes.  I blinked them back quickly, and acknowledged that Robert was right! But, so was my hope!  My hope had been placed in God, and I was not ashamed.  I had trusted Him completely, and hoped for the best, and He had fulfilled that hope that I had, giving me the assurance I had craved.

I called Robert round to look, because he had not been able to come to my first scan.  There, the baby was perfect - not only a strong heartbeat, but wiggling away!   Kicking, leaping and wriggling - as if to say "it's ok Mummy, I am fine".

It was one of the biggest feelings of relief I think I have ever felt.  What a joy!  What a peace!  What a thrill! To see the baby at the first scan was lovely.  To see it now?  Unspeakably perfect.

We let all our family and friends know, as quickly as we could, that all was well.  There was relief from all quarters.  I am pretty sure some may have developed some grey hairs over the weekend, such was their feeling of going through the experience themselves.

When I had a quiet moment later, I looked up the passage that my verse had come from - "hope maketh not ashamed", and my heart leapt and tears came, this time for joy.  I don't think you could find a scripture that summed up my weekend more perfectly, and my lack of scriptural knowledge had not shown me sooner.

"And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 

And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

Romans 5:3-5

Reading it again, now, brings the same thrill to my heart.

I can GLORY in my trial and tribulation.  That trial taught me patience.  That brought me experience - an experience I can share with others, and hopefully encourage them, too.  That experience gave me HOPE... and why does that hope not bring shame?  Because of the love of God that is in my heart, and the Holy Spirit dwelling within.  With that love and presence of God, how can I do anything but have hope, and assurance and peace?  My trust in the sovereignty of God, and His perfect plan for my life, can bring me nothing but hope and peace.  No matter what happens, I have THE LORD.  He is all I need, and will provide for all my needs, whether in times of sadness or joy.

I am rejoicing today.  I know that many others have been through similar experiences without the same joyful ending.  My heart is sad for their loss, and I can now understand, just a LITTLE, what that must be like.

Ultimately, I don't know what lies ahead.  We don't know why this happened, or whether it could happen again. It could, and Robert and I have decided that it will be wise to have the most restful pregnancy I have ever had, without it being a complete "bed rest".  (Unless that is advised, obviously!)  I need to take care of myself, and not put any undue strain on my body.  We need to do all we can to preserve the life of this babe, whilst leaving it all in God's capable hands.

One thing I do know.  I have HOPE.   And, hope does not make you ashamed, because you KNOW that your faith and trust has been rightly placed upon God, who can not fail and only ever does ALL things well.

Please continue to pray for me, as I try and adapt our home life, so I rest more and stress less.  So that I delegate more, and do less (that's a tough one for me!).   So that I am more organised, and have a more calm routine. Again, a challenge for me.  I really appreciate all the prayer that I have had so far, and have felt it so deeply.  And, above all else, I pray that the Lord will use this experience to HIS glory.

A picture and an explanation {news}

You may have noticed that I have been a bit quiet lately.  Not quite up to my usual posts and regularity?

There's a good reason.

Yep.  My Birthday Boy is announcing that we have a new baby due some time in early November!!!  We are so incredibly excited and happy.

I have been feeling rather tired (scrub that, VERY tired.....) and rather very nauseous.  Things are starting to improve, and in a few weeks I should have my energy back and the nausea will be gone.

So, I should hopefully back to my normal "blogginess". Is that a word?  Never mind, you know what I mean!

Hopefully, my children should all hopefully be illness free as well.  That would be REALLLLLLY nice.

In the mean time, I am going to go and frost a birthday cake.  My children have all had my Mum's recipe Chocolate Fudge Cake for their 1st birthday.  Beyond that, they get to choose a design, but it's always that for number one! We give them a big slice, and they have fun! Photos will follow.....

What a beautiful day {for a chat on the porch}

Patrice!  THIS is the kind of day that I wish I had a house like I see in the good old US of A.  With a long, inviting porch, with the sun shining beyond, making the day warm, and a breeze blowing through.  Me, sitting in the shade, enjoying  a perfect kind of day.  Birds singing.  Butterflies, all golden yellow, flittering around. A good book, and my feet tucked up as I enjoy my swinging seat. Better still, friends and family sitting talking with me.

*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

I can dream, can't I?

I have no porch, but the description of the day is bang on.  It's a gorgeous day in rural Bedfordshire.  Birds, butterflies and breeze.  I, however, am inside with poorly children.  I went out with Simeon for a little while earlier, but he kept trying to go over the edge of the lawn (which results in a drop onto the path), so we came back inside.  Honestly, these babies who insist on moving around.  Three other children have a virus, and they don't want to move very far at all.  It is our delayed Easter break.  Nothing like spending it indoors.  But, do you know what?  God is still good.  All things for a reason.  And, at least I am being forced to rest.  That can be bad, surely?

So, on to our chat, Patrice.

1.  Do you prefer to drive or be driven?

Ah, tricky.  I do love to drive.  I really enjoy pretty much any kind of driving.  Every kind, except driving in London.  Those people are CRAY-ZEEEEEE.  Seriously.  They just keep moving all the time, and if you don't make the decision to change lanes sometime YESTERDAY, you run into danger moving from lane to lane.  Scary stuff.  It's either all crazy go, go, go, or else deadlock.  Either way.  No likey.  I drove through the centre of London one night, to show the children the famous landmarks at night.  For a start, it took me FOUR attempts to get the right road to bring me in front of Buckingham Palace.  FOUR.  We had a good tour of Parliament Square and another enormous loop around the BACK of the Palace and down Piccadilly to Whitehall, before going back through Parliament Square. Not to mention how long it took to go that way at night. I won't be rushing to do it again.

Back to the question.  I do like driving.  Even though we have a minibus, it's lovely to drive.

Driven?  Not especially.  It DOES mean I can sleep on long journeys, but I don't like being in control, and get a bit nervous.  That, and travelling anywhere but in the front makes me ill.

So, drive it is.

2.  What's your favourite jam, jelly or preserve?

I'm not sure what the technical difference is between the three, really? I LOVE proper strawberry jam.  I remember having it as a child, and trying not to break the household rule "do NOT dig for the whole strawberries"!  I love raspberry jam on Scotch pancakes.  You can NOT beat it.  Oh, and preferably made with Scottish raspberries.  Ginger jam, I also love. And, I am a huge fan of marmalade.

Slight problem.

I have realised I have a problem with gluten.  The best place to have any of those things is on TOAST.  Especially a huge hunk of home-made white, toasted under the grill.  But, my stomach does NOT like it.  It means I don't get to sample such things very often. Sad, but true.

Let's move on before I cry

3.  Do you have any special plans for this spring or summer?

I did have some ideas of things to do, and places to go.  They have been somewhat changed.

"Best laid plans of mice and men gang aft awry."

Thanks, Rabbie, I agree.

I want to do more work in the garden.  Last year was my first year with something decent to work on, being in the new house.  I would like to add some flowering shrubs.

Mock orange blossom - one of those scents that throws me right back to my childhood.  It's a delicious, heady scent.  

Lilacs - another lovely scent, and my favourite colour, to boot.  So many different shades and types of panicle. 

I also adore jasmine.  I have some already, but up the side of the house, on the way to the bin, where you can't really catch a whiff of the scent.  I would like one closer to where we sit in the garden.   

I'd also like to plant some annuals, and maybe get some better seating - think "something that you can put your feet up, and recline slightly".  My dream would be a swinging chair, but I think, with children, this may not be a plan. 

There are also some inside jobs that need to be done.  I have an end of my kitchen that I want to get sorted so I can use it to do sewing and to keep my craft things.  I have this in mind....

I'm seeing fabric folded, in those dookets.  And, yarn all stacked neatly, looking all colourful and beautiful.  Some kind of hanging thing on the end, to keep rick-rack and threads in.  Ohhhh yes.  

We also need to rethink sleeping arrangements.  Elijah really needs to go in a bed, and Simeon in a real cot. But, that is probably going to involve a bedroom switch with the girls, and having a triple height bunk. 

So, yes, a few things to think about. Probably some day trips thrown in, as well, and hopefully people coming to stay.  We like people coming to stay! :-)

4. The next question asked things about GMO, pesticides and allergies, all relating to food.  It said to skip and have a cookie if it was of no great interest. 

Is it ok if it's a brownie, instead?

5. Do you use nail polish often? Finger nails, piggies, or both?

It's GREAT for stopping a ladder in your tights from going any further.

That's it.  That's my answer! 

Along with all other make-up, I gave it a miss quite a few years ago.  The reason is three-fold.  Firstly, Robert isn't keen.  He thinks I look beautiful without, so I am inclined to believe him, as I love him loving me in my raw state. Secondly, I had one too many incidents of my chidlren getting to the make-up and causing havoc. Life is too short to worry about lipstick in the carpet.  Eliminate the lipstick, and "voila", problem solved.  Thirdly, I don't have the time.  I hardly have time to brush my hair, for pity's sake! And, don't you need to have steady hands for such things as nail varnish?  If you knew me, you would know that was not a strong suit of mine.  

So, there we have it.  Albeit, the chat has taken 2 days to materialise, but, hey ho.  I have sick kiddos.  Life gets like that.  So, now I will go and change some dirty nappies/diapers, and allow my life to hit back to reality.

See ya next week!